Embracing My Inner Freak

Let me be honest–I am a cookie-dough fanatic.  My mother may classify me as a certified cookie-dough freak.  Unfortunately for the health of my teeth, my addiction to the sugary substance is not a new addiction.  When I was five years old, my best friend, Will, and I would slyly steal the yellow bucket of Tollhouse Cookie dough from the exceedingly-tall fridge (so it seemed at the time) and hide behind the fence in his backyard as we giggled and stuffed our small mouths with the yummy prohibited afternoon treat.  The taste of rebellion was just as sweet as the raw-egg filled chocolate chip cookie dough itself.

 

The ravenous rebels pre-punishment

I guess you could say that I was born this way, as a cookie-dough freak.  (Lady Gaga truly captures the essence of my emotions in her latest hit “Born This Way”).  Ever since I can remember, I have adored the taste of goodies on my palate, and I can’t imagine that this will ever change.  So in an attempt to embrace this inner freak of mine, I threw on some neon attire, blasted Gaga’s “Born This Way,” and whipped up some cake batter flavored (eggless!) cookie dough.

 

I wasn't kidding when I said I put on some neon attire...

Seriously y’all, there is no reason that you shouldn’t go make this cookie dough right now.  It’s quick.  It’s easy.  It’s mmmmhm so yummy.  Here’s the recipe straight from the AWESOME Willow Bird Baking Blog (if you haven’t checked out Ms. Ruble’s blog yet, it’s a must-do).

• 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
• 2/3 cup yellow cake mix
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 cup unsalted butter, room temperature
• 1/2 cup granulated white sugar
• 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
• 2 tablespoons sprinkles
• 4-8 tablespoons water.
• Directions: In a medium bowl, cream together butter and sugar for 2-3 minutes until light, fluffy, and pale yellow. Mix in salt, flour, cake mix, sprinkles, and vanilla. Add water one tablespoon at a time, mixing after each, until you reach cookie dough consistency.

I was born with a sugar-tooth, but unfortunately NOT with this awesome hair.

Personally, I freaked out before adding the water to the mixing bowl.  I thought that there was no way that the water could bind together the powdery mix.  Do not be afraid! Water once again works its wonders and turns the white mix into gooey (but not too gooey) cookie dough.

 

It's hard to believe that water turned this powdery stuff into cookie dough!

I actually doubled the recipe because food tends to magically disappear in my house at an incredible rate.  (I honestly do not understand how my brother can be SO SKINNY despite the fact that he eats SO MUCH.  Somehow he was the only member of my family to be blessed with the wicked-high metabolism gene.) But the point is, I doubled it so that it would last at least 24 hours in mi casa.  We’ll see how long it lasts…

 

Voila! Cake Batter Eggless Cookie Dough.

Unfortunately it was dark, wet, and cold outside when I finished concocting the cookie dough, so I could not relive my glory days as the five-year-old devouring cookie dough behind the wooden fence in the backyard.  Also, I’m not sure how my neighbors and parents would react upon seeing a high school senior hiding and eating cookie dough.  They would probably assume I’m a freak.  (I embrace it). I’m pretty sure my mom would rant to me about healthy eating choices and then immediately call a therapist.  But, hey, I have totally matured! Now, I’m eating EGGLESS cookie dough (meaning healthy, right?).

The moral of the story is, embrace your inner freak.  Hold your head high, and let your freak flag wave high in the sky.  For me, today this included succumbing to my inner cookie-dough monster and gobbling up cookie dough and donning neon colors while prancing around the house. So I challenge you to become one with your inner freak.  Who knows what surprises the future of freak-dom has in store? I sure don’t.  This is Saucy Sayre signing out.  Stay Saucy, Citizens.

 

Saucy Sayre signing out and pigging out.